Realizations
by 001ElvenWarrior
Summary: Drabbles about different SG1 characters in different situations...No longer T cuz there's nothing controversial about it.
1. Captain Carter

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate...trust me, that's a good thing.

Realizations

She hadn't expected them to be able to understand her. How could you explain something that went so deep – not just physically or mentally, but emotionally? You don't just spout off your deepest darkest secrets to just anyone, even close friends. Yet that relationship she had had, had been truly remarkable.

She had resisted at first, thinking that she was infested with a Goa'uld, but she had been forced to give up control. She was no match for the creature's insistence and it was remarkably powerful. It was after she quit resisting that she realized there was something different about it.

It still didn't change the fact about her being behind bars. Yet when she – the Tok'ra – spoke about the Ashrak, the assassin, fear radiated from the parasite within her. It hadn't happened until the Ashrak had come.

The device he had held over her sent both her and the creature into fits of pain. It wasn't just pain, but all-encompassing pain. Yet in that moment, both her and the Tok'ra had shared a moment – a single moment in which they had shared their most personal moments. It was a moment that Samantha Carter had never had before, and doubted would ever have again.

The moment had been filled with times of memories: joyful, heartrending, embarrassing and mostly personal. All had been silently exchanged. That had been before the Tok'ra had given itself up to save her life. That single moment had changed everything, including the very real fate of Captain Samantha Carter. For she had realized just how similar they were – both Tok'ra and Sam. Two sentient beings in the same body. A truly symbiotic relationship.

**A/N**: Just a drabble, really, but I was watching an episode (of Stargate, what else?) and this just popped into my head. I'm not going to hound anyone about reviews...but they do make a writer's day!


	2. Colonel O'Neill

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate...which is probably a good thing.

Realizations 2

Who could truly comprehend why one did things in a hostile environment? No one but his team – that's who. The team he had complete confidence in. The team he was fortunate enough to have.

So what had made him do it? Certainly seeing pretty colors didn't do it for him; he had seen it the first time and had nearly died. The mission he had been against since he had heard of it. Going to a planet only minutes away from Goa'uld arrival was pleasant enough, but to face ones fear of death was just tempting fate.

Still, when Daniel had leapt forward, he had had no choice but to do it – lest Sam get the same idea. So why had he done it? The planet couldn't afford to lose Carter or Jackson, and Teal'c was unable to contribute. Thus, it left him.

Besides, the Goa'uld had been just dozens of feet away – both on ground and overhead. He hadn't thought, just reacted, and had to live with the consequences. Such as Daniel saying a word, he insisted that Jack had said first. Just because he said it, didn't mean he knew what it meant. Didn't they know him by now?

Crosswords, simple fun, until Daniel had begun to spout off words he had written on it. Who would've thought that it would lead them on a wild goose chase he only half understood? Words aside, he didn't even understand the actions – it was as though his body had gone on autopilot. He was aware of what he was doing – just unable to stop it – not that he wanted to.

Besides, it had all worked out – for the most part. Though waking up when he had, had probably been the most confusing. So why had he done it? Damn the question. It was who he was: action without words. He had acted on instinct. One does not know what one would do in battle until one is in battle. That pretty much described him in that situation. And next time? There would never be a next time. Colonel Jack O'Neill himself, promised that.

**A/N:** I was watching the episode when Jack downloads the knowledge of the Ancient's into his brain a 2nd time and this just popped into my head. Too much imagination isn't always a bad thing...and again, I won't hound about reviews...lol. Oh, one more thing, these are going to be short drabbles, just so ya know. XD


	3. Teal'c

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1...they get into enough trouble w/o my help!

Realizations 3

Who would have thought that his whole life would be changed around in the space of only a day? Many years had come and gone, each with him seeking a newer, higher position of honor. An honor to stand beside his master. His god.

He had finally achieved it too, becoming First Prime to Apophis. The Jaffa with the most power among the others, and most loyalty. His god had been pleased at his efforts, and that he always did as he was bid.

That was until the fated day, when Apophis had brought in dozens of people from other worlds. He had merely assumed they would be slaves, but instead Apophis had chosen them to die. Events leading up to this had been upon his mind, thus staying his hand even as he led the other Jaffa amongst the prisoners. Events that had sent him questioning the authority his god – his master – held.

He had known there was no help for these people – the ones who pleaded and begged for their miserable lives. Perhaps if they had known for what they were begging, they would not have so readily turned from death. But only he, the first prime, knew what they did not. A knowledge that came at a risk and high price to pay if he were to rebel.

But there were four people among the many. Four who seemed capable of doing whatever it took to succeed. These four refused to accept death as many of the others did. He could see it in their eyes. Their postures stood ready for battle, despite the fact they were all of them unarmed.

One of the men had spoken clearly, in a commanding tone, a regretful tone. A tone he read as potential. Instinct, rather than preservation, kicked in, and he found himself turning and firing at his fellow Jaffa. In that moment, he knew what it was he was doing. To be Sho'vah was to become the lowest of the low – a first prime turned into rouge, good only for the bounty on his head.

But after it had been said and done, did the realization truly hit. He had rebelled against the god he had for so long worshipped. His way of life was over, to be questioned and drilled like a young Jaffa questioned for loyalty. Only his knowledge could help these people, and while it seemed like madness, he knew the reason for it: Self-preservation. So primitive and yet so effective, it was amusing that the Goa'uld had not struck them down before this.

But there was one difference between these people and the Goa'uld. They were not arrogant and they were not selfish. They wanted to extend freedom to all worlds – enslaved or not – and surprisingly enough, he found himself drawn towards them. This, he could live with, he realized with startling clarity. And more importantly, he found himself believing in the cause that all Jaffa might come to realize their plight and turn from it. It would be a fine goal, Teal'c thought, if he succeeded.

**A/N:** It was all just a matter of time...I have two more people left, then I'm back to using any episodes to just jot down their thoughts. I'm having fun with this...if you've got any suggestions, please don't hesitate to ask. Who knows, I might actually use it!


	4. Dr Daniel Jackson

Realizations 4

To think that his theories had been correct – as far fetched as many had thought they were. They had kicked him out of his job, saying he was insane. His ideas had put his reputation and his job at stake, and he had lost both. There wasn't much lower to go, than he already was. But then what did a doctor of archaeology do? Add to that the knowledge of not only dead cultures, but dead languages, and that left him…where, exactly? Oh, that's right, no job, no money, and no home.

At least until he met Kathryn later that day. And she had led him on a wonderful journey. Straight into military secrets that he had no part in – short of trying to learn new languages. To think that ancient Egyptian was still being spoken, albeit not on Earth, but on another planet!

The deciphering of the Stargate had been easy enough – at least for a man of his talents. Nothing, however, could have prepared him for actually traveling through the Stargate. Ending up on another planet, speaking with people in another language – that was the thrill, the moment every archaeologist and linguist dreamed of.

He had met his soon-to-be-wife, a gorgeous woman who loved easily and was easy to love, on this planet. He couldn't imagine life without her…until the fated day when she was taken. He still hadn't understood who the Goa'uld were, or why they were so dangerous. He had been blinded by love.

But it was this same blindness that forced him to hope, even when he had seen her eyes flash and her hand reaching toward him ominously. Oh how he wished he could have taken her spot – to trade places. He wanted to be with her again – a wish – an obsession – that he took seriously. Seriously enough to join the military and go through the dreaded Stargate, in hopes of finding his wife, and of bringing her back to normal – that they might once again be one.

Each time, however, had found her farther from his grasp until he could barely remember her. It was in his deepest despair that he found what he was looking for: a memory of her smile, or maybe some little thing, like a pen, would suddenly strike his fancy. And then he would have to hide his grief, lest his team decide him unfit for a mission. Each mission brought him closer. Each time he came closer, he realized just how far away he was. And with the distance growing, he knew not how to save his wife. His wife, an enemy, a Goa'uld host, a goddess deceived.

Regardless of the danger and regardless of what he had to sacrifice, he would bring her back. He would not rest until he found and saved her. Daniel Jackson promised himself that.


	5. General Hammond

Realizations 5

To think that he had been a month from retirement, and now, nothing could have forced him to retire. Except maybe one thing, but he would never admit it. Fate was unforgiving, and temptation too strong. He would never utter such a thing, lest it come true. Just thinking about it, made him realize all the obstacles they had overcome. Obstacles larger than mountains, and yet, it seemed as if they were mere hills.

The job did not come without pain and second-guessing; few jobs did. This one depended so much upon all of them – for not only had they adverted disaster after disaster, but they had depended on one another. Theirs was a bond, true and loyal. A bond sprung only from the close proximity of death and constant reminders of failing. Their bond would last to death and beyond, he was sure of it.

The paperwork was a mess, it always was. The sheer cost to turn the lights on had threatened to overwhelm him when he had heard it. But it was the adventure, the mystery of the unknown, which kept him alert – though many times it had also nearly given him a heart-attack. The sheer magnitude of what they were doing, of where they were going, and whom they were meeting or fighting, was carefully maintained in a section where reasoning did not apply, lest proper awe become inevitable and then fear.

But there was always something worthwhile to have gained from it. Maybe a new ally, or perhaps a new bit of technology, if nothing else, they learned more about themselves. It wasn't always a good thing. More than once there had been a debate to keep the Stargate program functioning. Always those NID fellows would show up and make some crucial blunder – then blame the military. Yet each time disaster would be averted, mostly by the skin of their teeth, and occasionally yet out of pure luck. Physics would fly out the window and make room for anything they cared to try.

It had been luck, though, that had kept the program running for as long as it did. Luck had let him keep his spot as General for as long as he did. But when the time would arise for him to retire, he would like to think he would. He would miss the trips and the missions, reading about them and so on, but at the same time, he knew he had missed out on much of what his grandchildren had done. He was trading one job for another, and not necessarily letting go of the pain and second-guessing, for being a grandparent was filled with some of the former and much of the latter.

Until such a time came, however, he was more than happy to help his teams escape disaster and save the planet, despite the controversy it usually stirred up. General George Hammond wasn't bald without a reason.


End file.
